The purpose of me wishing to share my experiences on this journey of grief was to firstly outline some of the emotions and feelings you can go through after losing someone you love to suicide. All of these feelings of guilt, regret, abandonment, unworthiness, and insurmountable sadness are all just stages in the grieving process. It is important to share your story and still talk about the one who passed to keep them alive in your heart. This will make you feel closer to them and comfort you in your grief. You will also draw in people who will be able to support you through this grieving process who have had similar experiences. I also wanted this to be an insight into one young experienced man?s life that lived his life to the full and lived balancing on a wire. It was the drugs in the end that took his life. He took drugs to hide the pain of his past and like most people who indulge to cover up his true feelings. The demons of his past were eating him up like a disease. Adam had a full life; he was intelligent and a streetwise, well-travelled loving man. However, it was depression that sent him into a spiral which ultimately led to his death. After Adam died, people would say to me things like, ?Did you see this coming? Were there any signs?? I knew that there was something wrong, and his downward spiral happened way too quickly for me to have any control over the outcome. I could feel it taking over, and I did not know what to do. One minute, he was partying with friends, then the car accident, and then the downward spiral which led to his demise. Within a week, I watched him go through so many negative mixed emotions. He was anxious, incredibly distressed, crying, angry, and by the middle of the week, he transgressed into a very solemn, dark, and very quiet mood. I felt helpless to console him. Adam was the type of man who kept his troubles to himself. This obviously did not help. Depression is a very serious illness that can be so debilitating for the sufferer that they see no other way out but to end their lives. There are many contributing factors that can lead to depression, and unfortunately, over two million Australians suffer from this illness coupled with anxiety and sometimes alcohol and or drug abuse. Out of these sufferers, 10 per cent will take their own life every year. If people are abusing drugs and alcohol, there is a reason. The only reason these vices are abused is to mask pain and hide behind it. Statistically, men take their own life four times more than women. Men tend to suppress their true emotions when under stress and do not talk openly as much as women do about what is troubling them. It does not have to be this way, as fortunately now, there is more and more government support provided and groups that we can join to share our troubles and concerns. My message to anyone who reads this book is to be there for your friends and family. More importantly, be there for yourself so that we can all be strong and support each other in times of need. We all play an important role in someone?s life, and we should be there for each other. Be well, live, and love.
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